Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Angry Hummingbird

It happened last Thursday. Another day filled with snow and cancelled work, stuck in the house because the roads were a mess.

I became the Angry Hummingbird.

Have you ever noticed how almost every picture of a hummingbird looks angry? No? It's just when I try to photograph them?


Well that's what I feel like. I'm angry but no matter how I buzz and fly nothing I do will affect anything of significant size. Like, say, the 16 inches of snow on the ground. Ugh.

So what's a gardener to do? Plan a garden? Done. Order plants for spring planting? Done. Count the days till spring? Too disappointing.

I've done the math and all I need is 2.5 million dollars and I can move to Sanibel Island, Florida, buy a small house and live a moderate, middle class lifestyle without having to work. I can buy all new furniture in tropical colors like Aqua, Sunshine, Lime and Roseate Spoonbill. 

I can let my hair grow out so that all I do in pull it up in a ponytail when I get up before the crack of dawn to head down to Ding Darling Nature Preserve (one of my favorite places on the planet) before dawn, to see the White Pelicans

and the Yellow Crown Night Herons.

I will put all of my house plants in plastic pots so they can live outside most of the time but not be too heavy to carry in on those rare nights that get below 60. I will collect discarded fishing line to tie orchids to the branches of my Jacaranda tree. I will own one pair of long pants and one pair of closed toe shoes and I will wear them only when traveling. I will order lots of butterfly and hummingbird attracting plants, but nothing invasive! 

All I need is 2.5 million dollars.

Anyone got that to spare?



1 comment:

  1. For only about one million dollars more I could join you. I am low maintenance. Maybe you need to buy lottery tickets?