Friday, July 9, 2010

Secrets and Spies

Now that the "alleged" Russian Spies are back in Moscow I can breath a sigh of relief.  I didn't want to mention this before now but I played a pivotal role in catching these spies.

I spotted a mysterious pair lurking around The Edge, watching me weed and plant early this Spring.  They watched carefully as I placed plants in a bucket of water to loosen the root ball prior to planting.  Then they scribbled furiously in their notebooks.  Whenever I tried to approach them they slipped away.  This is NOT typical Gardener behavior!  Gardeners know that we're largely a friendly bunch and we're always eager to show off our plants and techniques!

This mystery pair was also spotted surreptitiously reading the plant labels I put around the garden.  I need to keep track of what I plant where and this works for me better than a map (am I the only one who starts drawing a map and ends up smushing the last bit trying to get it all on the sheet of paper?  I don't think so.  Plus it's helpful when someone asks "what is that?" and you can't quite remember).

It was when I caught The Mystery Pair digging up seedlings that I knew they were trouble.  I have plenty of Gaura seedlings to give away.  They just needed to ask!

So I called the Master Gardeners.  Our First Line of Defense (what?  You thought the military was in charge of defending our country?  ha!).  They swooped in and investigated the pair.  Turns out they were living in Cambridge.  A close inspection of their house showed bags of stolen seeds, boxes of carefully packaged seedlings and notebooks full of cryptic codes and sketches of garden lay-outs from all around the Boston area.  And if that wasn't enough - photos of local gardens, including mine!  

What to do with them?  Unfortunately the Master Gardeners couldn't prosecute them.  Seems the Russians have some dirt on Paul James, The Gardener Guy and his secret activities on behalf of the Master Gardeners to promote sustainable gardening in states where he is not a registered Master Gardener.  They were forced to capitulate and send the Russians back home.  

If only they'd asked for the seedlings I would have happily given them some and these spies would never have been caught!  Don't let on that Gardeners will readily spill their gardening secrets or we might not be able to catch the next spies.

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